How To Piss Off A Customer...

Yet another example of how a company trying to protect itself from its own interested customers just ends up pissing people off. In this case, we have Comcast Sports Net, the cable channel on which many Cubs/Blackhawks/White Sox/Bulls games appear. I wanted to watch the game on my deck yesterday, since it was so nice out and since the game was such an important one (This one game decided whether or not the Bulls made the playoffs).

So I went to CSN's website, where you had to register to get access to the live stream of the game. It asked you many questions: name, email address, mailing address, etc. One of the questions it asked was who your cable TV provider was, since you had to have an active cable subscription to get the stream. Leaving aside for a moment why that is business stupid, I then got the following email from CSN's customer support:

"Dear Customer,

Your recent registration for the Chicago Bulls local internet streaming package was, under the terms of the offer, contingent on your having an up-to-date subscription to a television provider that distributes Comcast SportsNet Chicago and that has authorized Comcast SportsNet Chicago to enable you to watch Bulls games streamed to your computer.

This is to inform you that RCN, the television provider you selected, is unable to confirm that you are its customer in good standing. Accordingly, and as noted in the Purchase Policy http://csnchicagolive.rayv.com/Pages/TermsandConditions.aspx governing your order, we are hereby terminating your access to live streams of Bulls games through http://csnchicagolive.rayv.com

If you believe this conclusion has been reached in error we encourage you to contact your local television provider. If it turns out that an error has been made, your access will be re-instated forthwith. You may also contact us via Live Chat Support (found at http://csnchicagolive.rayv.com/Pages/ContactUs.aspx)


Sincerely,
The RayV Team and Comcast SportsNet

You guessed it. They tried to match my name to our cable subscription instead of our address. Awesome, except that our cable bill is in my girlfriend's name, not mine (she's lived there longer than I have). So now, despite the fact that I have RCN cable in our condo, my ability to stream the game is cut off. Now, I could go through the always pleasent process of sitting on hold with RCN and then CSN's customer support....but no thanks. I just won't watch next time I want to sit on the deck on a nice day.

Great way to boost ad revenue, hotshots!

Creating A Culture Of Fear...

Whether you trust our government or not, whether you believe everything you hear in the press, whether or not you are suspicious that there are greater workings at hand beyond the obvious, there is one thing that most of us can agree on: government is in the business of controlling thought.

There are examples both in the extreme and the mundane as to this fact. Press releases and control over the media are commonplace today. Talking points memos are dispersed throughout political parties to create thought recognition of words and concepts in the public mind. Or you can read your history on covert intelligence programs like MKULTRA and COINTELPRO, conceived to experiment with overt mind control programs and the methods to monitor thought and communication of the public at large.

But the new method of control is to instill fear. Think of a deer in headlights: what happens? It freezes, incapable of thought, focused solely on the one and only thing its mind can value at that point, the lethal danger bearing down on it. If you were able to ask that animal about anything else: where are you going to get food today, where is your family, what other predators are nearby? The deer would simply be repeating "headlights" over and over again, unable to move beyond the danger.

With thoughtful beings such as humans, of course, you have to be more subtle. You have to feature creep your way into a culture of paralyzing fear that allows your government to do absolutely distasteful things: delude civil liberties, encroach on your economic freedoms, move ever closer to the fascist government a select number of leaders has yearned for for so long.

So today, I saw this on my way downtown on the Chicago CTA:



We've taken a lost bag and turned it, by implication, into a suitcase bomb? C'mon, Dept. of Homeland Security (who was responsible for the notice), you can do better than that. In Chicago, we've experienced no terrorist threat at all. No one is dying here. There's little to no danger. But we're all supposed to focus on this ethereal threat of the red handbag of death.

Am I overreacting? Perhaps. But as you begin going through your days from now on, pay attention to how many people are warning you of how many dangers in your life, and then begin to think about how much danger you've actually physically encountered. Fear is a powerful motivating factor, as the saying goes. But what are they trying to motivate you to do?

Or not do?

Interesting Characters...

One thing that can be really difficult for me when I'm writing is properly creating either an evil, or at least unlikeable character. I just don't write them well. I try to take the same approach when creating any character: give them some kind of unique identifier that the reader will remember, have them take some kind of action early on that defines what type of character, and develop from there. The question for me is always the same: what is the unique identifier or action that will define an unlikeable character? Well, I've decided to highlight a few I might be using that I see nearly every day in my beloved city of Chicago.

1. The absolute jerk on the CTA -- I see this guy ALL THE TIME. Whether he's got his cheap headphones blaring rap music to everyone in the train car, or if he's working hard to avoid the gaze of the pregnant woman that is standing over where he's sitting so that he won't have to give up his seat, this guy is the worst. It's doubly annoying because there isn't much you can about it; he isn't going to hear you over that music or make eye contact with you. Your only hope is that somewhere along the way he completes the transit tool trifecta and decides to lean against the partition near the doors so that no one can get in or out at their stops. Then you just righteously bowl the idiot over on your way out with a nice forearm shiver to the gut. I'm giddy over what a opening description this guy makes for an unlikeable character....

2. CTA cell phone girl -- Sticking with the CTA theme for the moment, this girl is actually far more aggravating than absolute CTA jerk guy. She can't hear the volumed announcements that we should all refrain from talking loudly on our cell phones. Why, you might ask? Because she's too busy talking loudly on her cell phone. And wouldn't you know it, it's never about anything interesting, either. It wouldn't be so bad if she was like, "So anyway, he was fucking me in the ass and I told him to blow it in my face, but he kept slapping me". But instead we're treated to non-stop recantations of shopping experiences, or office drama complete with names we don't recognize, or her lame ass plans for that evening. I'm no killer, but this girl puts me close to the edge, making her a lovely example for a hated character....

3. Captain Slow-Walker -- These people aren't gender specific, but they never cease to amaze me. These are the morons that are meandering down the sidewalks ten minutes before you have to get to work. Sometimes they're texting away on their mediocre cell phones, sometimes they're actually trying to the pull off the read/walk combination, and sometimes they're just ignorantly looking up at the buildings around them. Look, here's the deal. If you can get wherever you're going on time moving at that speed, why wouldn't you just depart from wherever you're coming from later and walk normaly? Either way, this universally hated moron makes an interesting character description....

4. Unhappy Ultra Rich Shopping Bag Lady -- You see this lady EVERYWHERE when you're downtown. She's in her late 30's or 40's, she's wearing a perpetual frown, and she has more shopping bags than China has rice. This woman is a plethora of irreconcialable contradictions. How can you be that wealthy and still that pissed off? If you're that well off, why don't you have a nice computer where you can shop online? And for the love of God, why the hell are you on the Michigan Avenue bus?

Feel free to add your own in the comments....